5 Reasons Why Women Hesitate to Seek Help to Heal from Childhood Trauma
Reasons Why Women Hesitate to Seek Help to Heal from Childhood Trauma
Thousands of women have sought me out over the past 30
years to share with me their experience of childhood sexual and domestic trauma.
Some have approached me in person after meeting me in places I was speaking. Others
have reached out to me from reading articles and books I have published. Others
still have reached out to me since the advent of social media.
Some women sought me out because they had learned from
other women I had been helpful to them in their healing and post healing
personal development. Some sought me out because the men in their lives were
familiar with my work and had shared it with them.
Women that sought me out had heard that I was teaching that
childhood traumas begin to heal the moment you commit to transform your life and
the energy of your painful past into the power to love. When you can internalize
and feel the possibilities of that comment, you are ready to walk a new path, the
path toward self empowerment and liberation, your healing from childhood
sexual and domestic trauma.
The third decade into the 21st Century finds
many women extremely hesitant to seek help to heal from their childhood
traumas. A list follows of reasons why.
1.
Fear of stigma or judgment.
2.
Lack of knowledge and awareness.
3.
Difficulty trusting others.
4.
Financial or logistical barriers.
5.
Cultural or religious beliefs.
Adult women particularly women 35 and older can feel extremely
insecure, ashamed, and embarrassed about revealing what happened to them as
children. They are concerned that if people learn about what happened they will
experience the judgment of ridicule and disrespect.
Further, women have witnessed other women blamed for what
happened to them while children. Women can feel others will judge them weak or
damaged goods as if something is wrong with them.
Lack
of Knowledge and Awareness
Many women that have experienced childhood trauma may not be aware
of the full range of symptoms and impacts that can result from trauma. They can
range from post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, anger, depression, panic
attacks, and many other health and mental health conditions.
Women may assume that what they're experiencing is just "the way
it is and always will be" or that they should be able to "get over
it" on their own. Nothing could be further from the real truth resulting
from these traumatic experiences during childhood. Adult women’s lack of knowledge
and awareness of the long term and chronic effects of childhood trauma can make
it difficult for women to recognize that they need help and to know where to
turn for support.
Adult women that have been sexually and domestically abused while
children by parents, siblings, or other adults can be extremely difficult to
trust others. They can be especially challenged by authority figures or people
in positions of power.
One reason women are hesitant to seek help is because they may fear
that therapists or other helpers will judge them or fail to understand what
they have gone through or are going through. Women that have experienced childhood
trauma may also be triggered by certain words, postures, behaviors, situations,
or the darkness.
Women live with fear because of trauma that they may not understand.
Living scared and unable to trust anyone can make it difficult to engage in
therapy or other forms of help.
Financial
or Logistical Barriers
When a woman acknowledges the need for help and that help is available
to her, she may not be able to access the help and support because she may not
have the money necessary to pay for services or transportation to services.
Traditional therapy can be as expensive as paying for a college education. Some
women may not have insurance that covers mental health services. Some women may
live in rural areas or have limited transportation options, which can make it
difficult to attend regular therapy sessions.
Coaching services for healing from childhood trauma in person, in
small groups, by phone face time or voice time, or email can prove to be
helpful assets in the pursuit of healing from childhood sexual and domestic trauma.
Cultural or Religious Beliefs
For some women, cultural or religious beliefs may make it difficult
to seek outside help for personal problems. Some conservative religious
practices may not be open to therapy or coach thinking it is wrong for people
of faith whose total trust should be in God.
They may feel that they should rely on their family or community
for support, or that mental health issues are best kept private. What is really
meant here is to keep what happened to you a secret because persons of your
religious belief may have done to you what happened to you.
Roman Catholics are not the only church to have these secret behaviors
exposed of religious people sexually abusing children. In my work, women have
confided to me that elder men in their churches, choir directors and pastors
used them for sex while children and that they were scared to tell anybody. They
were afraid no one would believe them. In some cases, women may be discouraged
from seeking help by their family, church, or community, who may see mental
health issues as a sign of weakness or moral failing.
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It can be challenging for women to seek help even when they live with the chronic physical and emotional pain of what happened to them as children. If you are married with children, 35+, and you recognize that you must act to help yourself or forever live a secret life of pain, emotional and physical sickness, I offer you my energy to support as you stand up inside yourself and reach out to receive help to heal from your childhood trauma to build a better now and a better now to come.
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