Ways Men that Love Women Can Provide Support


Ways Men that Love Women Can Provide Support

In recent months, I have been privileged to sit in on and listen to conversations among men that feel lost and do not know what to do after learning their girlfriends, lovers, mates, significant others or wives revealed to them they experienced sexual and domestic abuse while children. Their initial responses include anger at perpetrators, angry at themselves for not being able to pick up on it sooner, and feeling guilty for enjoying sex with them wondering if it is causing their loves more mental anguish.

Men, today I offer to us all a beginning and a promise of a new level of awareness for being present for the women we love. These strategies will work when we work them diligently.

These are ways men that love women can provide support to girlfriends, lovers, mates, significant others, and wives living with the chronic effects of childhood sexual and domestic trauma.

1.     Listen and believe. Acknowledge and validate their experiences without judgment.

2.     Educate yourself. Learn about the effects of childhood sexual and domestic trauma on adult women and their relationships.

3.     Be patient and understanding. Trauma can affect the way your loved one processes emotions and experiences.

4.     Be supportive. Help her to feel safe and secure, and respect her boundaries.

5.     Help her to set boundaries. Encourage her to advocate for herself and to set boundaries with others.

6.     Be respectful of her privacy. As a trauma survivor, she may not want to talk about her experiences with others.

7.     Practice healthy communication. Encourage open and honest communication in your relationship, and work on resolving conflicts in a healthy way.

8.     Help her to develop self-care strategies. Help her to find healthy ways to cope with stress, such as exercise, meditation, or journaling.

9.     Be her partner, not her savior. Remember that her healing is a journey, and that she is ultimately in control of her own healing process.

     Do these things and your loved one will evolve in her healing process. Both of you will see each other in an enhanced light of love and respect for each other.

Oscar Crawford, M.Div., MS/AJS, Trauma Healing Coach

For tools and experiences to help you heal from

the chronic effects of childhood sexual & domestic trauma,

email: healingwithoscarcrawford@gmail.com or

                                                    call: +1 (480) 228 - 4654 

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